To boldly go where no vehicle has gone before. That is the motto of the Mumbai autorickshaw-wallah. Rocket fuel? Nope. All they need is their three-wheeled chariot, some optimism, and the firm belief that footpaths can serve as a makeshift road.

But if you have ever hailed a rickshaw in Mumbai, you will unfailingly hear them say no, sometimes, even before you have told them where you want to go. Their version of “it’s not you, it’s me.” Their immortal phrase:

Nahi Jayega

You could be on fire, carrying triplets, or bleeding out. Nahi Jayega.

Back in the day, getting a rickshaw was simple. You hailed one. You sat inside, the rickshaw-wallah flipped the meter, you told the driver your destination, and off you went.

Today, it’s a delicate dance of initial rejection, continuous bargaining, and eventual submission. Finding a rickshaw willing to take you is harder than finding an honest politician. Not until you roll on the street with folded hands held above your head, will one even look towards you.

What’s worse is seeing a dozen of them whiz by – empty, indifferent, and unbothered by your existence. You stand there, hands folded, while they all speed past, only willing to listen if you plan to go to one of their own curated list of acceptable destinations.

Here’s the insider guide to hail a rickshaw and convince the rickshaw-wallah to accept you as a worthy passenger.

1. Signal your intent – Flap your arms like a peacock strutting for attention. Jump a little. Wave like you’re being rescued from a shipwreck. If one slows down, don’t celebrate yet. This is just foreplay.
2. Propose your destination – Say it gently. Don’t be aggressive. Don’t show neediness. “Bandra jayega?” should be whispered like a confession, not yelled like a war cry.
3. Brace for rejection – You see, they are really coy at first. Like a bride on a wedding night, they will avoid your gaze and shake their head repeatedly. Eventually, he will roll his eyes. He might even laugh. But do not take it personally.
4. The Counter-Offer – Negotiate. Not in terms of price, but destination. Offer to drive the vehicle halfway. Offer to be dropped a few blocks away from your destination. You can always walk the remaining distance. What’s a couple of kilometres for the desperate commuter?